By Shane Walker
We all get up on the wrong side of the bed sometimes. Things happen that cause us to have a more pessimistic view of our day or even the world. This is normal. It’s also normal to have positive days and a more optimistic view of the world. Usually, there’s a balance between these two perspectives. But some people live too often with a negative mindset. Are you one of them? Here are 10 signs you are too negative:
1. You Meet Good News with Pessimism
If you receive good news and instantly think things like, “This is too good to be true,” then you may be too negative. Meeting good news with instant pessimism means that you, most likely, struggle with limiting beliefs about what you deserve and can achieve.
Instead, work on believing that not only, yes, it is true, but that you DESERVE the good news.
2. You Use Phrases Like “Yeah, but…”
If “but” is a normal part of your vocabulary then you may have a more pessimistic view of the world. “But” usually negates everything that comes before it and that is typically something positive. For example, “I had a great interview, but I probably won’t get the job.”
Replace the word “but” with “and” and put a positive spin on it. For example, “I had a great interview, and I hope (or expect) to hear something positive back.”
3. You Struggle with Compliments
Does receiving a compliment make you feel uncomfortable? Do you normally brush it off, or dismiss the other person’s accolade? If you do, then you may be a Negative Nancy.
Instead, accept compliments graciously. If someone handed you a gift, you wouldn’t throw it away in front of them or reject it. Would you? Probably not. Treat compliments the same way.
4. You Get Excited to Gossip
If you found out your neighbor had an affair, and you just can’t wait to tell someone about it, you are probably more pessimistic than optimistic. If a co-worker just got chewed out by the boss and you immediately email your other co-workers about it, you may live in the land of cynicism. Getting excited about someone else’s heartache and woes because it gives you gossiping power is a sign that you should focus on being a more positive and compassionate person.
Instead of gossiping, keep it to yourself and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. You wouldn’t want someone else doing that to you.
5. Your Internal Dialogue is Mainly Negative
Negative people typically have negative thoughts that pop into their minds on a constant basis. They think negatively about others and themselves. Thoughts like, “Today is going to be crappy,” “I can’t count of him,” or “I’m not good enough,” are thoughts that race through a negative person’s mind all day.
Although it’s tough to prevent your mind from thinking certain thoughts, you can work to think more positively. Try using affirmations. Affirmations are a powerful tool to be more positive and optimistic.
6. You Seek Bad News
Do you live, eat, and breathe negative news? Do you have Fox News or CNN running all day? Do you find yourself more interested in the negative comments below the article than the actual information in the article itself? If so, you may be a negative person. It’s hard being positive when all you read and hear is negative news and comments.
Instead, be proactive and seek positive news. Unfortunately, the positive news isn’t as in your face as negative news but it’s there. You just have to look harder. Follow positive news sources and blogs.
7. You Complain A Lot
Do you complain about your job, boss, or co-worker? Do you complain about the produce selections at the grocery store? Is your lousy financial situation a regular topic of discussion? Do you complain about your upbringing? If you complain all the time, you may be too negative.
Instead, get determined to make a change. Look for solutions for improvement or learn to shift your perspective.
8. You Rarely Get Excited (Except Maybe to Gossip)
Pessimistic people rarely get excited about their future or goals. You may get excited about gossiping (see #4) or an upcoming vacation but that’s about it. It’s easier to sit with the idea that everything will always be the same rather than to risk failure in reaching for a goal.
Alternatively, set a goal, and allow yourself to get excited about it. If you fail, you fail. Just keep going and stay excited.
9. You Don’t Really Like People
Negative people have no problem admitting they do not like people in general. Do you admit it? Sure, you have friends, but more than likely, your close friends are just as negative. Otherwise, you may find it difficult to connect with others, especially with overly positive individuals.
Be open and proactive in meeting others that aren’t just like you. Join a hobby group or club. Mingle with people that are more positive. Positivity rubs off!
10. You Are Obsessed with the Past
People who obsess constantly over the past do it to remember how great things used to be or to remember how bad they had it. There is nothing wrong with recalling the past to remember happy times or to find inspiration and motivation. But if your past is a constant reminder of how bad your life is today, it’s probably a major factor in your negativity.
Instead, realize the past is nothing more than a teacher. It’s time to look ahead. Albert Einstein once said, “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”
If you read through this list and you are certain that you are too negative, that is okay. Don’t be negative about it (happy face). Today is a new day, and you can be more optimistic anytime you choose. Work on the suggestions given to you. You’ll soon discover that not only will you be more positive, but you’ll attract more positivity into your life as well.
About the Author
Shane Walker is a Mindset and Confidence Coach and founder of YouAreBeyondEnough.com. His mission is to help those struggling to see their self-worth, build confidence, improve their self-esteem, and truly love who they are. Sign up today for his free Self-Esteem Challenge here: https://youarebeyondenough.com/5-day-self-esteem-challenge/.