Guest Post by John Crosby
English Poet Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Sometimes I wonder if it’s true. Sometimes I think it’s better not to have loved. Not to have been hurt at all. Sometimes I wonder if the pain was worth it. The pain that seemed to last longer than love’s temporary bliss.
Broken relationships have left me feeling empty. Like there is this hole inside me. Like there are missing pieces. I realized that when we love someone, we give so much of ourselves that we start losing pieces of ourselves. Then, we try to fill the void. We try to fill the missing pieces of our broken heart but realize that nothing seems to work. But if there is anything I have learned, anything at all, it is this:
Never compromise who you are to please others. Never try to change yourself to impress anyone. If there is anyone you should impress, it is you. Always try to be a better version of yourself. The person you are today is always better than the person you were yesterday. You are much wiser. You have learned from your mistakes. You now know better.
Learn to love yourself. You will always make mistakes but you need to learn to stand up again and forgive yourself. Learn from your mistakes and chalk them up to experience. As they say, experience is the best teacher.
Appreciate the things you have accomplished. Life will always try to bring you down. It’s important to remember all the good things in life. Keep track of all the things you should be thankful for by practicing gratitude.
Don’t let other people define who you are. You are unique. You are special. Your mistakes do not define you. Nor does other people’s perception of you.
Fill your gaping hole with experiences and memories. Create something special. Meet new people. Pick up that brush and start painting again. Play that instrument again. Be all the things you are before you started losing pieces of yourself.
Travel. You don’t need to go too far. Go out there and discover new places. Meet new people. Life is meaningful. You will see that in every sunrise and sunset. Enjoy the beauty of nature. Feel the silence. Listen to the humming of the birds and rustling of the leaves.
Learn to let go. Let go of all your emotional baggage. Let go of the people who bring you down. Let go of all the sadness that fills your heart. Life will start to have some meaning again once you find your true self.
Make life meaningful. Find your motivation. Wake up with a goal. Appreciate the simple words and things in life. Always look on the brighter side.
Love again. Ultimately, we are beings in need of love and warmth. Once you learn to love yourself, everything will follow. You will start to hear the same music again but this time you start to understand the lyrics as well.
To sum it all up, relationships are messy. Your heart will inevitably get broken. You will experience so much emotional pain that sometimes you just want to cut your heart out to make the pain stop. But what I want you to know is that you are not alone. The pain you feel is temporary. The cuts, the bruises, they all heal. Everything that you feel, all the pain, eventually it will go away because what you didn’t know and what nobody told you is that you never needed to change yourself. You never needed to be who they wanted you to be. You did not have to conform to society’s norms. You are who you are and that is what makes you special.
Life is so short. Make sure you live it. Make sure to love it. Do all the things you thought you couldn’t do. Be all the things they said you couldn’t be. Do all these things and you will never even notice your cuts and bruises are no longer there. The hole inside you that you have been avoiding for so long is gone.
John Crosby is founder of website Sweety Text Messages. Years of experience and work with a great number of people show him the right walk of life. He wants to live in a world of respect and love. He travels a lot and shares his thoughts with all people.